Mirror effect

The other day I fell back into an old pattern for me. I was being hard on myself, being judgemental of myself. I got a lot of help in getting out of it! I had encounters with two people who I know that mirrored that energy right back to me! The became very judge mental of me and others and that was not very pleasant energy to be in! I have to remember that all I can do is the best that I can in each moment. All that we all can do is that! I have no idea how long I will live so I do the best when I can take life moment by moment. Live in the now and let life flow and it is amazing how I can be focused and get things done if I do that! My higher self, my soul has the big picture and when I allow my intuition/soul guide me it is amazing how life flows, it becomes magical. Nothing like others to be my mirror and remind me how I work the best! Letting old patterns and conditioning go and letting the source flow! Sat Nam, Atma Karam Kaur Sent on the Now Network from my Sprint® BlackBerry

 

my dad and what I have learned from illnesses

In 2003 my parents were visiting my sister Maria in CT.  They were supposed to go somewhere for the children’s spring Easter break from school.  Dad had a very bad pain in his side and Maria was able to talk him into going to the urgent care place.  Since dad has heart problems (2 of the angio surgeries in the 90s and etc) they tested his pk (sp?) levels.  They were very high and they gave him morphine and transfer him to a very good hospital.  He was in the right place!  What happened was that the muscle in his side was disintegrating and when the proteins in your muscles break down they increase the pk levels which in turn destroy your kidneys and other organs.  They never found out why his muscle tissue did that but the term for the state is Rhabdomyolysis.  The hospitalist saved dad’s life.  When I got the phone call telling what was up and I spoke with my Mom, all we could do was pray.  Dad’s body had shut down and there was a period of about 10 minutes where they were not sure how much oxygen was getting to his brain.  The way I ended up praying was that if that dad still had work to do it this lifetime to let him survived and come back from this.  The pk levels were highest they had ever seen and there was one other person who had them higher and they died.  When I got to CT dad was still unconscious and on a respirator and portable dialysis etc.  He did comeback from that and had some brain damage.  He spent a month in the hospital in CT and then came home to Hampton.  He got dialysis only once in Hampton and then he got a staph infection in his blood.  I just happened to stop by my parent’s house that day and he was all of a sudden getting very sick and throwing up.  Mom called the dr and then 911 and dad was taken to the hospital.  He ended up getting off of dialysis since his kidneys were working just good enough to not need dialysis.  He ended up getting a tube implanted in his arm/ artery for infusion of antibiotic for a month to treat the staph infection.  He developed an organic looking growth on his mitral valve that looks like cauliflower kind of thing.  I learned a lot from all of this and I was laid off from working so I was able to take him to get the infusions and help.  One thing I learned was that Dad will pass when he has accomplished what he needs to in this lifetime.  He was stubborn and the dr in ct were stomped as to what caused all of this and wanted him to go to John Hopkins for a muscle biopsy which he refused (mom was upset with him on that decision since dr thought it might be genetic).  While he was in the hospital in ct there were times when he just wanted to go home to VA and die.  He got beyond all of that and each of us in our family had a part to play.  When I went back up and saw dad conscious that was when he told me there was something special about our relationship.  He has one brother and no sisters.  I am the 2^nd child and the firstborn and oldest girl so that made it special.   I have since learned it is a bit deeper than that.  I was able to see how much my parents really do love each other when I was in the room with dad and mom when dad was on the respirator (which was very good since they tend to fight and argue a lot).  He would respond to our voices with twitches and etc.  In 2003, I was still on probation just not supervised probation and was back on the path of healing.  I had started meditating again while I was in jail in Nov of 2001 and was doing that and going to NA and AA meetings and doing the 12 step stuff.  I learned the power of prayer for sure during these family crises.  Dad had a heart attack 2 or 3 years ago on father’s day and that is when we found out that when he saw the open heart surgeon the previous fall why he did not have bypass surgery.  The surgeon felt that there was no good tissue to bypass to, that he would not be able to get him off the table.  Dad did not tell any of us this until he has the heart attack.  He is very stubborn and set in his ways and we thought he was just being his usual self and not wanting to take care of himself.  Now to now a days.  He was finally given a potential timeline in Jan or Feb. of this year and he was very peaceful telling us that he did not want to have life support etc.  he was told while in the hospital either in dec or jan that his heart id working at 10%  and that his heart would not survive a heart attack, that he could be kept alive but would not regain consciousness.  We had our first ever family meeting and that is unusual, it is very autocratic family with Dad having to be in control.  He was very peaceful and expressed that he had 7 extra years already.  He has living will and my uncle George, my dad’s brother and his wife were the witnesses.  This has progressed since then and when dad went to the dr on this past Tuesday he is slowing down more and his organs are working slower, his kidneys are having more problems.  So he chose that when his kidneys fail to not have dialysis and the dr explained that he would go into a coma and most likely pass within 5 days after that.  It is Dads life and body and his choice as to how to handle all of this.  He has said many times that he is not afraid of dying and when he messed up on his meds he told me it would be soon. I have no idea when it will happen but do see him getting slower and the life force leaving him.  He reluctantly uses the wheel chair and does occasionally go places.  The family took him to Jamestown on Saturday and he really enjoyed that and seeing my nephew Kris working as an interpreter on the Godspeed.  I was over the parent’s house for a little bit yesterday and dad was out and about and telling us how to do things and then went back into the house and was resting.  He was giving me a hard time for sailing instead of going to Jamestown which is just his style of doing things.  I used to sail with my dad when I young, I would sail the boat and would lie on the trampoline of the catamaran and just be there.  It was lots of fun.  I never thought that he meditated but I get the feeling that was what he was doing when it felt like he was in a sense of just being.  I also used to take walks with him growing up in the Wythe area of Hampton.  The Hampton Roads is 2 blocks from my parent’s house and there is this road called Chesapeake ave that runs along the water.  We used to take walks along there and just enjoy being in each other’s company and not always talking, just being.  Sailing was also like that.  Dad is very scientific and was trained as an engineer and very traditional.  He is also Irish and spent a year in Belfast when he was 5 years old.  There are some intuitive gifts that run in my father’s family and he expresses by words that they do not exist or believe that they are real.  By his actions they are real but do not fit the traditional scientific world this has been an interesting journey of healing on many levels for my family.  I am slowly teaching my family heart breath and it very wonderful to see how things are changing for the better as we are all using it more and more.  My niece Dani seems to almost have been born knowing heart breath!  She took a class in college this semester called stress reduction in which she learned yoga.  She is teaching her Mom, my sister Maria yoga and breathing techniques and has an amazing amount of wisdom for someone who turned 19 Jan 2, 2010.  The pieces are falling into place and my family is helping each other more and more and it seems to be letting go of trying to always understand everything!  It is so cool to watch us all expand and grow.  Mom sounds better and seems to be handling the stress better.  T is not easy to live with my dad and his way of constantly criticizing everything you do.  I have seen heart breath and me coming from a grounded, centered place of love help all of those around me and of course help me.  Dad has been told he will not better but that he will get weaker and slower as his body and organs wear out.  That is what seems to be happening.  I have no idea how it will be for me when he transitions but I already connect to him soul to soul and will always be able to do that. Just like I am able to connect with who I refer to as my Irish relatives the ones who have already passed on.  My dad’s mom was one of 9 children and I think there were 6 who lived to be adults in grandfather’s family.  Dad was born here in VA and most of my Irish family (human form ones) is in the UK now and Canada and other parts of what was the British Empire.  I have one great aunt who is still alive she is 11 years older than Dad and is his youngest aunt, my grandmother’s youngest sister.  She lives in Belfast, Northern Ireland.  She turned 90 years old on June 8^th which is the same day my brother turned 51.  It was wonderful seeing the pictures that were exchanged from our family’s for the 2 birthday gatherings for the same birthday of June 8th

 

Child like wonder and heart breath works wonders

Today at work we had to go to the warehouse and clean up the cage. It is a metal cage where computers and a variety of technical equipment is stored in a secure place. It is very hot, dusty and dirty and lots of heavy equipment that has to be maneuvered in a small space. Usually n one like this task. Today seemed different. I tend to do heart breath a lot and I was doing heart breath and we were able to accomplish a lot. Everyone was in a good mood and we all became child like and had a lot of fun with this task. The weather had cooled so it was not very hot until the hottest part of the day. We all worked together for the greater good and had fun doing it. Each of have skills and gifts where we excel and they were used in a very co operative way. It is so very interesting to reflect on my day and see what happens when people come together from a place of joy and co operation and from the heart. It truly can move mountains if you believe it will. It was so very wonderful to experience this today with my co workers. It sure seemed they were also coming from the heart today and having as much fun as me! Sent on the Now Network from my Sprint® BlackBerry

 

Lesson in beliefs

I just went back to work after having off 6 days in a row. I had updated drivers for a device on a computer system. It was working fine until I went on vacation. I work with technology currently to make a living. I do a lot of heart breath and it does work on computers and technology. I saw that this update fixed some problems we were having and applied it and then when it worked applied it to other computers. The one computer I did not have time to update was failing on me even though I was doing heart breath. It was failing on these classroom captures for classes that occurred when I was not scheduled to work. Other words during hours that I do not normally work. What happened was that while I was on vacation my co worker had problems with the equipment and the captures were failing. He believed it was the software driver update since he had that experience with his computer at home. He rolled back the driver to the previous install and it started working. What we believe does affect what we experience as our reality. He encountered problems I had not seen with resolution not being good and many other things. Tomorrow I will check to see what version of software is really installed now and see what is happening. We had a meeting today at work where I was blamed for not testing the software before deploying it to more than one mac computer. I let them know I did test it and that it work very well before I installed it on the other computers. I have not been able to explain to my co workers the power of heart breath since they are not open to it and the fact that we live in a sea or ocean of energy and that our energy affects everything around us including all of these technological devices. You can always google quantum science and find that science is now catching up to what many saints, sages, great spiritual teachers have taught for many many thousands of years. Love is the most powerful energy there is in the universe and it is not the romantic kind of love but unconditional love that has this great power. I have been taught many lessons through the technology I work with by my guides and soul. Our belief systems are encoded in us through our dna and conditioning from our current lifetime and previous lifetimes and they help us to create our current reality. The very wonderful time of being alive now is that you/ we can all become aware of our beliefs and if they no longer serve us we can release them. We all have this amazing ability to use our intuition to receive the best guidance in the universe form our own divine self, our soul or if you prefer the words spirit or higher self. We all have the ability if we choose to learn and use it to heal ourselves and others and the world. If you believe what I write that is good if you do not that is good also. What is your truth has to do with your own belief system and what rings true for you. I believe we are all equal and we all gifted ourselves with the abilities and gifts that we need to use to experience our current lifes. To learn the lessons we need to and to experience life in our physical form of our current now. So believe what rings true to you and love and honor your self. You are a divine being and your soul is the way to access your divine self, the GOD, higher power or consciousness within you. We are all one and very interconnected. Look deep within and find your own truth. It can be a very wonderful experience! The divine teacher is within you and within all of us. Have fun finding your own truth. Sat Nam, Atma Karam Kaur Sent on the Now Network from my Sprint® BlackBerry

 

Power of the heart

I am constantly amazed at how easy it is to do heartbreath and how powerful it is.  I can do it anywhere and at anytime.  Here is a link to the yogic way of doing heart breath

http://www.soulanswer.com/heart_breath.html

I am learning if that if I just let go and become more and more my authentic self, life becomes like surfing, effortless effort.  I have gotten hung up in the past on needed to take action but then I have learned heartbreath is action, the action of sending out unconditional love.  There is no power greater than the energy of unconditional love.  I have seen how it can help others and they do not need to know or believe in it for it to help.  Try it and see if it works miracles for you and your loved ones

 

The power of the heart

Heart Breath is such a powerful thing.  It is so very simple and easy to do.  Long deep breath and just visualize the energy coming out of your heart on the exhale.  Unconditional love is the most powerful energy/force that exists.  I have seen it transform much when I remember to do it.  I have used it in meetings and in many stressful situations.  It helps me to shift my energy and then it has a rippling effect in helping others.  Here is a link to a very scientific reason why and how it works. http://www.heartmath.org/research/science-of-the-heart.html    We are all interconnected and as each of us learns to come from a space of love it helps transform the world to the wonderful place that we can envision   why not become the change you want to see in the world?  I can picture the world as a place where folks are working together for the good of all.  There is amazing power when people work together from a place of love and cooperation and not from a place where you are out just for yourself.  So much more can be done by working together than by knocking each other down.  What you send out comes back to you tenfold, so I choose to try to remember to send out heartbreath.  Everything is truly energy and I can choose how to use my own energy.  It might seem like a tall order to view life this way especially as you watch the news and see so much of what appears to be the opposite of this going on in the world.  I can always choose how to use my own energy and trust that there is a purpose in everything and I do not have the big picture, we all have our roles to play in this play of life.  Sat Nam, Atma Karam Kaur

 

Beautiful morning on the Bay

I took this picture a little after 6 this am. Such an interesting time in my life. I am being shown much and be given wonderful gifts such as this picture. Sent on the Now Network from my Sprint® BlackBerry

 

The power of a smile!

I was just buying food for my dogs. Very interesting encounter with folks. When I was walking into the store this lady was coming out with a big smile on her face. She told me the store was not very crowded. That was very cool! It is memorial day weekend and the crowds are getting larger. I met a little girl getting a fish with her mom and we had a great conversation about nemo. They were buying stuff with nemo on it. That just made my day and it all started with a smile and an exchange of some wonderful energy. Nothing like the power of a smile! Sent on the Now Network from my Sprint® BlackBerry

 

Intuition

So far today has been interesting day at work. First thing this am call for problem in classroom. Water had filled a box in the floor which has power outlet. That definitely causes some problems with electricity. In getting the room up and running for the class, I was going to use a certain outlet for power. My co worker who was with me suggested another one. I used the one he suggested and not the one my intuition suggested (or you could call it also gut feeling). It turned out the one I was going to use had no problems but the one we used was on the same circuit so it did not work. I found this out later when I went to check the room and spoke with the electrician fixing it. He is usually very grumpy individual but today on a monday morning he was the nicest I had ever had seen him. The power of heart breath still amazes me. I was in neutral and only emotional connection to problem and people was unconditional love and the heart breath. So amazing to me how if I just pay attention to these little clues and use heart breath how much easier it is to navigate modern life Sent on the Now Network from my Sprint® BlackBerry

 

I am so very blessed

This might sound a little crazy to some folks. I am very blessed by having my finger injured so badly by my dog Braun’s teeth on Saturday. It is truly a blessing and I have been able to heal some very deep pain and recognize behavior patterns and etc. I have been through a lot this week. I got sick from the first antibiotic. Had my finger re injured on tuesday night. In the process of going through this I got to see how different medical personnel handle their level of knowledge of injuries, met many wonderful people, learned more about reaching out to others for help and etc. We are all here to learn, grow and help each other. I got to observe what conditioning still exists in me and find out what is truly important to me. This has truly been a blessing and my journey of growth continues. Small price to pay for such healing and growth. I learning that my soul has my best interest in what is in store for me. What a wonderful time to be alive! Heart breath is truly a miraculous tool and thank you to all who have sent it my way. Sat Nam, Atma Karam Kaur Sent on the Now Network from my Sprint® BlackBerry